Well, 'tis 2012 and my 2011 didn't exactly end how I wanted (writing-wise) - personally it was pretty darn good! Husband and I went on FABULOUS Christmas cruise and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly.
(Rog and I on Christmas Day 2012)
I didn't finish my 50,000 words for Nanowrimo, I know. I know. I should be tarred and feathered and hung out to dry. Bad writer, bad.
But as my bud The Tragic Spinster pointed out, I'm not killing myself over it. I DID get a lot more done in my story, but something just seemed...I don't know...missing???
Have you ever had a weird, nagging "something" in the back of your head when writing that things are different? Things have changed? That the Universe tilted a bit and you didn't notice? There is nothing really showing outwardly, but yet you just KNOW something's up, you just can't figure out what it is? Then all at once a possible solution will hit you and you go "ohhhh...now THAT would explain so many things!".
I had that moment. Oprah would be so proud if I called it my "ah ha" moment, but it wasn't an "ah ha" moment, it was just a moment. It came, I took it in, and I moved on.
And you know what? It was good for me. It somehow seemed to get rid of my writer's block-laziness-procrastination which has plagued me in getting on with this particular story I've been working on FOREVER. I feel now I can sit my ass down and actually finish it as I know how it ends.
(I wanted to take a ride on THIS ship!)
I added more to my story today and somehow don't feel any more pressure, any tightness in my heart squeezing it to "get this manuscript finished or the world will end". I know it will be finished. I know I WILL finish it. I promise to no longer feel the pressure of NanoWrimo. To be honest, I work full time in one job, part time in another, am with several various "groups" which all have meetings, I dance, I rehearse, I just can't put that pressure on myself to do a book in one month. I can't. If I didn't work full time - hell yeah, I would give it a go - but pushing myself to be creative when my mind and body is completely full just wasn't feasible.
(Every cloud has a silver lining)
So...thank you Universe. Thank you for releasing me from the questions plaguing my mind and freeing me to start writing again. Thank you for giving me the ending...now I just need to fill in the middle of the story.
I was feeling so cocky about it, I started looking up publishers and printing out their submission information. This may be a good thing.