A Little Bit of TLC
Tammy Lyn Carbol - Writing is the best way to talk without being interrupted
A Little Bit of TLC

January - What a Month!

What a fantastic month for learning the craft of writing and forward movement January has been!

I DID get my new business cards...feeling all swanky...LOL

Attended a Saturday ARWA workshop given by Swati Chavda (www.swatichavda.com) on Writing Immersive Fiction. She gave the information in such a fresh perspective and view, the whole room was hooked in about 3 minutes. Haven't been to a workshop where we were all that quiet in a very long time - we were soaking it all in. Seriously fantastic.

I couldn't believe the amount of information given and notes I took. I have included the link to her website (above) where she has notes from said workshop, and some other really great information. Amazing lady to know and amazingly fabulous to sit down and have a conversation with! You can also follow her on Twitter.

Then for our Thursday night meeting, our speaker was the fabulous G.W. Renshaw, who gave us "Wilderness Survival Tips for Writers". The write-up was "Do you have characters who cross dangerous lands in pursuit of their goal, and must learn to survive in all terrains with meagre resources? If so, you will not want to miss this session on wilderness survival tips. Come. Your protagonist’s life may depend on it."

Well, I was honestly impressed in MYSELF for knowing quite a bit more about wilderness survival than I thought! G.W. Renshaw (www.gwrenshaw.ca) was an engaging and enthusiastic speaker, and it really makes sense to know these, especially when you are writing and your characters are in one of these situations. People who KNOW about wilderness survival will know when you are fibbing about a survival situation, and your readers will not find it a believable situation. Best to know what you are talking about.

I unfortunately had to leave early because I had to get home to babysitter, but I was sent the rest of the notes by another ARWA member. We went over our normal time by at least 30 minutes, but he was so engaging and informative, nobody wanted to leave. Great speaking voice as well!
You can also follow him on Twitter!

A number of people tagged me in this AMAZING "book quilt" - which I absolutely love.  Only problem is that I don't quilt. So this is going on my "one day when I can afford to have someone make it for me" list. Absolutely amazing and so much work! I truly appreciate the skill whoever did this. I know many quilters and the amount of work put into a quilt is tremendous, AND they put a lot of love into them as well.

I WAS WRITING! I worked on Write Club, and also continued on Angel. Have been using Schrivner, and truly enjoying this writing tool so far.

Starting to get the creative juices back and perhaps it's just been that my brain needed a rest from writing. Not sure, but it seems to be back - which I am very thankful for.  Also having a number of emails with words of support helped a lot for my confidence - thank you friends!

Still looking for full time work (being laid off since last June has been difficullt) but since I AM, while I continue to job search, I have time to continue writing.

Tried some of the Virtual Assistant sites, but apparently they have to many right now to accept me on them (the ones I've tried so far anyway), so I keep on keeping on. I figured I could go onto one of those sites and find authors who needed audio transcribed into manuscripts. Will keep trying to figure out where to find that. If you happen to know where to find this information, or know an author looking for a VA -  send me an email! Would be much appreciated!

So never give up, never slow down, and learn to give yourself some slack.  Nobody is perfect, we just do the best we can with what we have.

Write On...

2017. Let's Get 'Er Done



Looking at my blog I note I haven't blogged since Dad passed, and that was far to long ago. I honestly had no heart to do it, and my writing was not up to par either.


Time to change. New website design, new writer business cards, new determination to finish the few stories I DO have on the go right now. 

Seriously, the last few years I have not been writing nearly as much as I wanted to be. Call it writers block, call it laziness, I just had no desire. 

Although I have had a fantastic time both sitting on panels at When Words Collide here in Calgary and attending the fabulous workshops both at WWC and at our monthly ARWA meetings and Saturday workshops, I just couldn't get motivated to write. Nothing much anyway.

A few months ago, one of the members from ARWA said "why don't you try a different genre for now? It might get you started again".

Brilliant. I started again. I actually started on two separate stories (of course). One of which makes me  giggle-snort at times. It came about by some of the ARWA members making a comment in one of our workshops and we went from there. COMPLETELY outside my normal genre of writing. I normally write paranormal romance or if I'm in a different mood, erotica.

It is a mystery with some humour in it (okay, A LOT of humour in it). I'm enjoying writing it. I didn't think I would be able to get back into writing, but changing genres to try something outside my comfort zone is working. I will be putting an excerpt up before end of January. I figure if I declare and state things in print, I will be held accountable.

ARWA had a workshop on Scrivner last Fall and I have started using this writing tool. I am finding it extremely easy and useful and that makes me happy.

It feels like perhaps 2017 may be the year I get my writing mojo back. Switching genres seems to have helped, I don't understand why as yet and want to finish my "Angel" book, as well as "Rope, Saddle & Ride", but I will finish "Write Club" first.

Also working on a story situated on Guernsey, which is also a mystery (without humour)and the hero is a much older man - something new.

Looking forward to (and already registered) to When Words Collide this coming August. Amazing local and international speakers, writers, authors, publishers - it's a fabulous conference to go to. 

I met Diana Gabaldon in 2015 there (and became BEST SISTER EVER to my twin when I got Diana to sign a book to her). 

She is my twin's absolutely, hands-down, favourite author.  I found to her to be an amazingly adorable person and really entertaining speaker.

I had of course read Outlander and a number of the series after that (given to me by my sister, of course).

After meeting her and speaking with her, I had a desire to read even more of her books - and I'm very much enjoying them. I like her writing - I really really like her writing. The amount of research she does makes me feel SUPER lazy, so I have actually been researching the Isle of Guernsey while I have been writing the story. Unbelievable history! WOW! Research can actually be fun! Didn't realize that LOL.

Now that I've revamped my website and been working on some writing, I'm getting more and more confident. It's been a long time since I've felt not only happy writing, but confident in my writing.

I feel 2017 is my year. My year to prove TO MYSELF what I can do and what I can accomplish. No offense, but I am not doing this for anyone other than myself.

My friend is giving me a Passion Planner to try out - I intend on filling it with A LOT of goals, especially writing goals.

I intend on posting excerpts now and then on what I'm writing to keep me accountable and forward-moving.

I intend on MAKING the time for myself (I love my son but Mommy DOES need some writing time for herself). He is almost 4 1/2 so he knows how to occupy himself playing while Mommy writes. I just need to keep an eye on him and an ear out for when it gets silent.

My new "sign out" this year will be...

Write On...

Change...and moving onward

Well...I have had both a craptastic, and sometimes good, last few months.  The biggest thing affecting my life was the sudden passing of my father in May.  It has hit both myself and my twin sister hard and I struggle daily to move forward.  I know dad would have wanted that and would be pissed if he knew how bummed it makes me sometimes, and for the most part, I'm pretty good.  I still just have moments where I think of him or see his picture and my eyes well up - but then I try to suck it up and move on.  The first week after it happened I was a hot mess.
Grandpa and David
I have done no writing since his death. None. I just....can't.  I know it will come back and I think (and hope) it does when I attend When Words Collide August 8, 9 and 10th... http://www.whenwordscollide.org/program.php I'm even listed in the program now as I will be a panelist on the "Writing Hot" panel (I believe that's what they are calling it).  I am still looking forward to it as it will be my first writer conference - but trying to get my sparkle back...yay know?
I've known many people who have died.  Death sucks. A parent's death, however, I'm finding especially horrific.  I am thankful I have my husband and son to keep me busy and sane - I think if I didn't have them I would curl up into a little ball and cry.
Not to bore you with this posting, but I'm finding it cathartic to write about it - perhaps putting it INTO a storyline would help me get through it.  That is a thought I have considered. <sigh> ugh. 
Not sure how to put it into a storyline that would fit MY normal genre of writing, so perhaps I will have to step outside my comfort zone for awhile and put pen to paper, and just give 'er.
Might just be what I need to help the hurt, and move forward more quickly than I currently seem to be. 
One thing my husband did that touched me more than words ever could, was I came home from being out with my sister, and he had placed the iron dragon my father specially-ordered for my 40th birthday into the front garden of our home.  He even secured it so it couldn't be stolen. (my sister also got a specially-ordered iron sculpture of an eagle sitting on top of the world with his wings spread - it's beautiful).  Every time I come home and see it, I smile and think of Dad.  He and I talked a lot about the dragon and bird because he had spent a long time deciding which ones to get us because he wanted our 40th birthday prezzies to be special.  Well done Dad, well done. 
I love you. I miss you.  You will always be with me.

When Words Collide!!! WOOT!!!

Sooo tremendously excited!!! My fabulous husband has agreed to watch our little monkey the entire weekend so I can attend When Words Collide, here in Calgary August 8, 9 and 10, 2014 at the Carriage House Inn!
If you don't know, WWC is a Readercon!!! It's a festival for readers, writers, artists and publishers of commercial and literary fiction, including genre, YA, Childrens books, and Poetry.
Special Guests are:
Very excited to be attending as an ARWA member - AND since Diana Gabaldon is my sisters FAVOURITE author (the "Outlander" Series) she is coming with me!!! I not only get to attend, but I get to hang out for a stint in the ARWA hospitality suite, help out at the ARWA information table, AND I have been asked to sit on the "Writing Hot" panel! (frankly, nervous about that one, but hey, what the hell!)
If you are dying to know the program - see this link!!! Lots to do for both writers AND readers!  Fantastic weekend planned!! hmmm....I know I should dress nice, but still debating if my sister and I will be wearing these gems...
I've never attended a Readercon before and I'm very excited! I love ARWA and it's members are a constant inspiration for me.  Even though I can't always make the meetings now (hard to find a babysitter during the week!), I keep up to date with ARWA's Twitter page, Facebook page, and website
My goal this year is to submit TWO of my manuscripts in - I have GOT to do it - I have to take the plunge (well, technically, I have to finish them first!) and just trust in the Universe they will find their way to where they need to be!!!
This summer I intend to spend lots of time outside in my backyard - so while little monkey is playing...Mommy be writing.  I found a picture of my DREAM backyard, which frankly, I couldn't have in the Calgary climate year-round anyway, but thought I'd share. 
Now tell me...wouldn't YOU feel like writing romance novels if YOU were in this backyard? <sigh> I just absolutely LOVE this backyard.
And, I must add a pic of my little monkey...who was tremendously excited to attend a giant book sale with Grandma, Auntie, Cousin and Mommy this past weekend.  Can't you tell?
Although he IS sleeping, he honestly DOES love his books, and he is only 20 months old! He loves for Mommy or Daddy to read to him OR he will just sit there with a book in his lap and turn the pages while studying it most seriously.  It IS rather adorable and I am hoping he enjoys books as much as his parents do as he gets older! I think he will!!!

Climaxes and Words....Colliding...

Well phew!!! I did it!!! I gave my "Building That Climax, Well Before the Climax" workshop on Sexual Tension to the ARWA ladies on Saturday, February 8, 2014.  From what they said to me, they liked it! YAY!!! I'm happy some things I said helped some of them with their writing in regard to sexual tension.

Here are some of the key points I used - oh, and did I mention my presentation was peppered with pictures of Antonio Banderos (from Zorro), the newer version of Pride & Prejudice and that FABULOUS scene with Louis and Armand from Interview With The Vampire? Oh...yeah...those helped <wink>

  • Sexual Tension is NOT sex...
  • Building Tension - making the attraction each character feels for the other blatantly obvious to the reader
  • You MUST have some kind of conflict to have the tension.
  • Get a GOOD conflict that can be used to bring them closer, and then apart. Rinse and Repeat.
  • No conflict = no tension
  • You have to use internal dialogue to inform the reader what is going on in their minds
  • Build it....slowly....play with it.
  • Tease them.
  • Thrill them.
  • Draw them in.
  • But try not to resolve it before the end! OR, you need to create another conflict.  Sometimes if you resolve it well before the end of your story, if you don't have conflict, the tension fizzles

So...just a couple quick notes from the workshop, but the hour and a half seemed to fly by. And truly, I'll never think of a sneeze again without laughing my ass off (private ARWA joke - but holy crap it had us giggling).

Then I was SUPER excited!!! I finally got off my behind and signed up for When Words Collide (August 8-10, 2014) here in Calgary! Checked with the hubby if he wouldn't mind me basically being gone for 3 days in August - took an afternoon off work - and there ya go! www.whenwordscollide.org

It is for both readers AND writers, and when my sister saw Diana Gabaldon was coming (who just happens to be her FAVOURITE author) - oh yeah - she had me sign her up with me! Should be a fun and interesting weekend!  I know ARWA will be involved in numerous panel discussions, and I *think* we are having a panel discussion all our own.  You should TOTALLY come check it out!!!

I have been using my lunch hours the last little bit to get some writing done, and that has actually been working out well.  I'm getting more and more excited (heh heh) as I'm moving forward in this book.  In MY mind, it's fabulous - but hey, that's just me.

I shall continue to slowly plod along and get my writing done.  Little by little is better than none at all, and I will celebrate my "little bit" rather than torture myself when I don't write at all - it's the only way I'll stay sane.

If I stopped in frustration over having days where I didn't have time to write, I'd never move forward - so I will continue to write at lunch and IF time affords me, and I can write at home, I will do so.  As Dory says "just keep swimming...just keep swimming" (yes, yes I DID happen to watch Finding Nemo...FIVE times this past weekend)

I love the ARWA ladies and our meetings - www.albertaromancewriters.com - we always have a fantastic time with lots of giggles, and inappropriate comments (usually coming from me, but still).

I'm very happy that this month, my mom has offered to come play with David all night so I can go to my ARWA meeting (as my husband also has a meeting on that night)

Don't get me wrong, I love my little monster...but I love me my ARWA gals too!

Secret Societies and Breathless Press...Oh My!

Well now, it HAS been quite a week this past 7 days or so!!! Mind you, it has been quite a Fall/Winter season, and being the lazy ass that I am, I haven't updated my blog OR my website (with current information and pictures!).   I will now remedy that.
Well, after the talk we had from Justin Perry at Breathless Press last Thursday night(breathlesspress.com) at our Alberta Romance Writers meeting - I believe I finally got the kick in my ass to start doing some writing AND some "marketing" of myself.  Ironically, it was the day before that my best friend and I decided I should finish my manuscript this year and she would complete a course she wanted to take.  When it all falls together - the signs come from everywhere, don't they?
So...super quick update on the non-writing...finished our stint as Worthy Matron and Worthy Patron of our Order of the Eastern Star Chinook Chapter 133.  I am still an officer this year but Roger is not so he gets a break and will stay home with David when I have meetings this year.
I believe we did an okay job as WP and WM, and even held our Chapters 50th Anniversary Party (see fabulous shot of us here). 
It was a good year but we were quite worn out at the end of it - it was David's first year and we almost always had him with us at the meetings.  We are thankful that the ladies and gentlemen of Chinook Chapter all love David and would vie for babysitting duties! Our Chapter is fantastic and accepted David into the meetings with no problem, and for that we are eternally grateful!
On Thursday, January 23, 2014, we had Justin Perry from Breathless Press come to speak to the Alberta Romance Writers Association.  It was a very eye-opening experience and I was thrilled to find out he was based out of Calgary, with employees all over the world.  He spoke not only about the genres they publish, but also information on marketing (meaning the authors need to market themselves as well as the publishing houses).  Again - please go check out their website for both e-books and print books!!! breathlesspress.com
I thought he was fantastic and very informative, and after the heart-to-heart talk with my bestie the day before about our "plans" for ourselves for 2014, it felt like the final nudge to get me off my ass and writing again. 
I find it extremely hard to write at home when I'm with David because frankly, wouldn't YOU rather play with this adorable face than write? I know I like to - and he LOVES books by the way.  He can't read yet, but sometimes he lets Mommy read them to him and other times he's like "yeah, you are taking too much time" and just wants to turn pages, but he WILL sit down and turn pages for like 15-20 minutes.  I am hoping that is a sign that he will love to read.  That's what I'm going to believe...
Anyway - I have made the promise to myself I will use my lunch hour to write at least 2 or 3 times per week.  At least!  This way, I am not distracted by a wonderful full gut giggle and large smile - AND I can concentrate for that one hour and "get 'er done".
I started last week and I am already making a forward motion with my manuscript - I will concentrate on taking one day at a time and just keep writing.
Lastly, oh I HAD to talk about the wonderful Robbie Burns Night we attended last night, held by St. Mark's Masonic Lodge (was at a legion). Such a fantastic site seeing all the Scotsmen running around in their kilts - I really think my husband should get one.  He's not Scottish, but come on!!!
The Toast to the Haggis was phenominally done and I gorged myself on Haggis and triffle (for dessert).  Such a wonderful evening spent with really good-hearted and loving people.  I have ever yet to attend a Masonic event I didn't enjoy. 
I also will do my best (and with the kick in the ass my best friend will give me) update my blog FAR more often, even with the "I'm sucking and can't write anything right now" posts...gotta take the good with the bad, right?
2014 is my year.  I just need to do the hard work to make it successful - because it's not just going to come sit in my lap!

My Big Fat Excuse...

<exhale>  Well, crap...
So, being a brand spankin' new mom totally interferred with my grand dream of sitting down and writing during the day on my maternity leave, giving me loads of time of course to complete and submit a marvelous manuscript, which of course, would be instantly chosen by a publisher to print...or at least that is the excuse I will use.  But seriously, can you deny this face attention?
David at the Rockyview visiting Grandpa...
That, and well, my "only summer off with my son" didn't quite go as planned.  Around June 20th we had a mightly big flood here in Calgary!! On June 24th, my sister had to get the police to break into my father's house to get him.  Long story short - he had a stroke, then a heart attack.  They told us twice the first week he wasn't going to make it as his kidneys were shutting down, he had an infection in his leg, and he got double pnemonia in his lungs.  Needless to say from June 24th onward I was at the hospital every single day with David to be with my Dad. (and my sister - we REALLY got to know staff at the Rockyview and Carewest - David was a big hit there!)
He DID recover by the way, AND after 2-days shy of 2 months, dad got to go home.  He is now receiving Home Care, and realizing he will never work again and must retire early.  On the plus side, he IS alive - good thing he's a stubborn man. 
So as you can see, I have numerous things to use as excuses for not writing.  To be honest, I just wasn't in the mood.
The very scary incident with Dad did allow me to spend a great deal of time with my sister (she's on the left in purple, I'm on the right), so we would spend mornings at the hospital and try to find something to do with our kids in the afternoons.  Sometimes it worked out, sometimes not so much - but we tried!
David started his daycare and I came off maternity leave and have been back at work since September 3rd.  To be honest, since June 24th I haven't thought of much other than Dad and family.  Little Fish belly dance classes are starting up, and this Friday, I start teaching my belly dance classes again - life is going back to "normal" (as much as my life can be normal). 
I printed off the ARWA newsletter today and saw a reminder for annual dues and thought "OMG! It's really September already!!!" so I immediately went and renewed my membership.  All the while feeling hugely guilty for not writing a damn thing in a very, very long time. <sigh>
Then do you know what I did? I am quite proud of myself actually.  I called my mother and asked her to babysit for the Thursday night September meeting later this month!  I will actually be able to attend the meeting without trying to chase down my 1-year old (he turned one on September 5th!) as he is crawling QUICKLY and almost trying to walk - it's just too much to try to attend a meeting and chase him down - I can't focus on what I'm there for. 
I've just been so focused on being a Mom and being there for my Dad that it feels like I haven't been there for myself.  I know it is wrong, and I know I need to take better care of myself (David and I currently have bronchitis - yay for daycare...). 
Baby steps (no pun intended).  I need to take baby steps.  The whole "I'm going to write a manuscript no problem while on maternity leave" thing didn't pan out.  So I will take baby steps.  Getting a babysitter so I can attend our first ARWA Thursday night meeting (AND pay attention) in September is a start. 
David and Mommy on his 1st birthday
Isn't his morning face adorable?
Maybe being back at work and in an office environment will give me the desire to begin writing again.  Maybe not.  Either way I need to get off my ass and start writing again - I need to find that desire, that spark again. 
Hmmmm....maybe I'll think about it over cake and coffee...

Writing, Pooping, Feeding and Writing...

Well okay world...here he is:
May I introduce David Alexander - he came "a la Superman flying pose" on September 5th and changed our lives!
Seriously, to those ladies who go on and on about "oh, you forget about the pain because it's soooo worth it once you look at them".  Well, screw you. <grin>
It WAS worth it, however, I don't know what kind of amnesia you are suffering from, but I most certainly did not forget, nor will I ever forget that pain.  HOLY MOLEY people!  Good grief! I have a high pain threshold but COME ON!!!
I have been very on and off with writing since my last posting earlier this year - and yes, I know it's not an excuse. Some days I FELT like writing, and some days I was just feeling too icky to do so. 
Since David's appearance, I have actually found some time to write, but not as much as I want, and I know that means I need to start scheduling time (preferably when he's sleeping obviously) however, lately when he is sleeping I try to catch a quick nap myself.
One thing I'm excited about is his nursery (which is almost completed) - but since he is sleeping in our room for awhile I still have some time.  I got some pictures taking during my 7th month of pregnancy of me (and David) dressed as a fairy that I will be putting in his room - which is based on the Lord of the Rings - The Shire (no, no I will NOT be putting the Eye of Saron above his crib or anything like that - think trees, nature, etc.)
So these are the two pictures taken by Paul White at Studio White Photography here in Calgary - and I am so incredibly happy about them!! It was tremendously fun to dress up with the wings and go walking through the park so Paul could take my picture. You KNOW it got my creative juices flowing!!! Becoming a pregnant fairy and traisping around the park will do that to a person.
Tomorrow night, I will be going to my first ARWA meeting of the year (missed September meeting - was still getting used to being a mom). The girls have said they don't mindDavid attending with me - and since for the most part he is a very laid back kid - hopefully he behaves himself. Looking forward to seeing my writing friends and getting that desire back.
I need to finish my current manuscript - I need to. Not for anyone else other than me, but yes, I need to finish it and damnit it - submit it.
Life HAS changed, absolutely it has - though not as much as I thought it would.  I'm starting to get those writing vibes back in my brain and starting to move the story along in my mind.  Now to just sit my ass down for an hour without having to get up, change, feed, pump, sing, rock to sleep, catch a nap, run to the doctors, clean, cook, organize, do laundry or visit.
I need to start working a schedule where I do have at least 30 minutes to one hour of writing a day.  But since David isn't currently one to "go along with a sched", I am kind of winging it as to when I have time.  Frankly, sometimes when I DO have time, I just think "ahhhh...what's on Judge Judy today?"
I think this black and white photo pretty much sums up my blissful feeling lately, only now he's out, not in.
Since this is the first time ever I have not worked since I was 18, it's a little difficult to get used to this new "timeframe".
All that said, looking forward to getting into my writing again and finding TIME (make that MAKING time) to write and complete my manuscript.  I know going to my monthly ARWA meetings is a big step toward that - being in the same room with such a bunch of creative and downright fun women will do that to a writer!
Writing is important to me, and so is my family, and finding a healthy balance between the two (well, three as I have to add belly dancing) will be what I aim for.

Life-Altering Moments

Well now...it has been VERY difficult to not post on my blog for the past three months, which I purposely did just in case I was tempted to spill the beans.
The second week in January, after being relaxed and getting back into the work-groove from our fabulous Christmas Cruise, my husband and I had a life-altering moment.  A lot of women know this moment, it's the "pee on a stick and run out of the room for 3 minutes" moment.
Realizing I was late (thanks to my handy-dandy period tracker app - yes, they pretty much have an app for everything!), I thought "oh, my schedule was screwed up when we came back from Egypt too, so that's it"...after the "you are 7 days late" app notification I thought "hmmm..maybe I'm going through early menopause - I am the right age".
After the "you are 10 days late" app notification, I knew I had to pee on a stick. Then check it with a clinic.  Then double check it with my doctor.  Yes, I verified it many times, seeing as I haven't been able to get pregnant in 21 years - yeah - bit of a shocker.  So yes, my husband and I will be welcoming a child into our lives in September. I'm terrified, but I'll get over it.
(am I going to hell because I find this hilarious?)
So, for the past 3 months I have done absolutely no writing as frankly, I was exhausted and tired and sleeping a lot.  Apparently, that's normal, even though I felt like the worlds laziest tit. 
Hmmm...(stepping on soap box) I would like it noted I really really dislike that doctors kept making me feel terrified because I'm "HIGH RISK"...yes, I'm 41...big deal.  I'm also a belly dancer and in better physical shape than many people much younger than me. <sticking tongue out>
On the plus side, now that we have FINALLY been able to blab the news as we are past the 12-week mark, and got a "thumbs up" on the tests I had to go through, I feel a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I began writing again during my lunch hours.  A few times the thought of "are pregnant women allowed to write naughty romance novels?" goes through my head, but I kill it with coffee and a truffle or two.
(cross your fingers our cat, Otaa, feels protective too)
I have a lot to prepare for before September, but we have a fantastic support network of friends and family behind us, so I know everything will be okay.  I have also stuck a deadline in my head now to complete my current manuscript, as I won't be having a lot of time for the first while in September - so I best get off my ass and continue writing.

New Year and Clear in My Thoughts

Well, 'tis 2012 and my 2011 didn't exactly end how I wanted (writing-wise) - personally it was pretty darn good!  Husband and I went on FABULOUS Christmas cruise and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly.
(Rog and I on Christmas Day 2012)
I didn't finish my 50,000 words for Nanowrimo, I know. I know.  I should be tarred and feathered and hung out to dry.  Bad writer, bad.
But as my bud The Tragic Spinster pointed out, I'm not killing myself over it.  I DID get a lot more done in my story, but something just seemed...I don't know...missing???
Have you ever had a weird, nagging "something" in the back of your head when writing that things are different? Things have changed? That the Universe tilted a bit and you didn't notice? There is nothing really showing outwardly, but yet you just KNOW something's up, you just can't figure out what it is? Then all at once a possible solution will hit you and you go "ohhhh...now THAT would explain so many things!". 
I had that moment.  Oprah would be so proud if I called it my "ah ha" moment, but it wasn't an "ah ha" moment, it was just a moment. It came, I took it in, and I moved on.
And you know what? It was good for me.  It somehow seemed to get rid of my writer's block-laziness-procrastination which has plagued me in getting on with this particular story I've been working on FOREVER.  I feel now I can sit my ass down and actually finish it as I know how it ends. 
(I wanted to take a ride on THIS ship!)
I added more to my story today and somehow don't feel any more pressure, any tightness in my heart squeezing it to "get this manuscript finished or the world will end".  I know it will be finished.  I know I WILL finish it.  I promise to no longer feel the pressure of NanoWrimo.  To be honest, I work full time in one job, part time in another, am with several various "groups" which all have meetings, I dance, I rehearse, I just can't put that pressure on myself to do a book in one month.  I can't.  If I didn't work full time - hell yeah, I would give it a go - but pushing myself to be creative when my mind and body is completely full just wasn't feasible.
(Every cloud has a silver lining)
So...thank you Universe.  Thank you for releasing me from the questions plaguing my mind and freeing me to start writing again.  Thank you for giving me the ending...now I just need to fill in the middle of the story.
I was feeling so cocky about it, I started looking up publishers and printing out their submission information.  This may be a good thing.
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